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Tuesday, 12 January 2016

While Valentine's Day is A Point of Confession

Valentine is just few days away and lovers are busy planning the perfect getaway or gift for that special one.
I’m a bit indifferent about the Valentine celebration. It’s a good thing to celebrate love on a particular day but I don’t think one should wait till such a day to express or appreciate their loved one.
Love shouldn’t be something you express on certain occasions, it shouldn’t be a schedule. It should be done on daily activities. Good loving is the spice of every relationship and it’s not limited to sex. Sex doesn’t guarantee love in any way , Its just stimulate the closeness and commitment based on mind set.
The concept of love may be lost on some people going by the rate of heartbreaks and divorce nowadays but love still exists. I often want to believe that love is unrealistic because of the different meaning people attached to it or that human beings are incapable of loving but each time I ponder on this, there is an inexplicable reassurance that love does abide in the hearts of men. It all depends on one’s perception. To some, it’s simply materialistic, to others, it’s that indescribable feeling that makes your heart pitter-patter. It may mean good sex to others while some simply view it as a responsibility. All these perceptions are not wrong, love encompasses all these and much more. The tricky part of love is that it’s not always as it is in the beginning. This leads to the greatest test of love which is sacrifice, commitment, humbleness, humility and understanding.
So he no longer makes your heart race faster (than Usain Bolt) like he did when you first met, does that mean the love is no longer there? Of course not, it means two things, either you were infatuated in the first place or you stopped learning to love.
It’s always easy to fall in love but to keep loving inspite of the trials and temptations takes a very courageous heart.  Even when your relationship hits the rock, it doesn’t mean you never loved or was loved. The mere fact that you spent some part of your life with that someone accounts for something.
I see love as a daily nutrient we need to survive in this world because its always present in our daily activities. Even when the ones we love are no more with us, that flame of love still burns in our hearts gently as a form a hatred at times which shows the level of commitment or expectation as such.
 Based on a life scenario, A woman whose husband died more than a decade ago still wore her wedding ring and as a result, people were anxious of know why she still wears her wedding ring and her answer astonished me. She said “Love never dies as long as you don’t stop believing.”
 I mused on this for a while before I grasped the full weight of her words.
It’s all so easy to call it quits when our relationships go through hard times. We are tired of this or that and the next option is to walk out of the door without making attempts to resolve the conflict. We are too impatient to let love lead the way as long as the adrenaline is no longer there. But love is not like that. Love is patient. No other description fits the concept of love than the one provided in the Bible. Do you feel hopeless about love? Has your relationship lost its spark? You don’t need to act nonchalantly because your partner seems uninterested, he or she may also be in the same dilemma, so what do you do?
Learn to love everyday: He/she is not perfect, is just about taking full precaution and measure to know him/her better and always listing to his/her do and don't. You are not perfect either. But when you learn to love with an open mind, even when they are wrong, you accept their mistakes, you are growing in love. Start each day with love. Let it be part of your daily routine, to add a teaspoonful of love in your relationship.
Understand your partner’s love language: Each one of us has an encoded love language that our partner needs to decode. It may be little acts of service, physical touch, words of affirmation, lovely gifts or time spent together. You must know the right button to press to ignite that passion again.
Celebrate your love everyday: You must not wait till Valentine’s day or birthdays to express your love to your partner. Each day should start with a loving and kind word to show him/her how much you care.
Quit scheduling your sex life: For some couples, there is a timetable for sex. It’s either a quickie before leaving for work or an evening stroll before bedtime sex. This gets boring at a point because what was romantic for your partner an hour ago might become unexciting the next minute. Instead of waiting for the 9 O’ clock hour to bump and ride, give her the spontaneous cruise of her life. Simply get creative and whisper sweet nothings in her ears while she’s making dinner till she is down on her knees begging you, “Come on baby, light my fire.”
Have a forgiving heart: No matter how right you are and how wrong he or she is, no matter the mistakes, the recalcitrance, always be willing to forgive even before they apologise. Couples miss out on a second chance to make their relationship work because of unforgiveness. Learn to look beyond their mistakes and love them for who they are.
In the spirit of Valentine, I urge you to do more than say, “I love you” flippantly or humping and grinding in bed, rather reflect on the true meaning of love and learn to love that special one everyday of your life.
Happy Valentine in Advance!

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